Despite the adage “act your age,” Brandy Harrington sees advantages in acting like a teenager.

She brings herself to a youthful level when talking to middle school and junior high students about issues — like bullying.

“As long as it’s respectful, you guys can call me whatever you want,” Harrington — who said she prefers “Brandy” or “Mrs. H” — told a group of Kearney Middle School students last week.

Harrington gave a 45-minute presentation to various groups of middle school students and then to parents about bullying.

“Your teachers wouldn’t have me here if your teachers didn’t care about you and knew it was happening,” Harrington said.

Harrington works in the STOP Violence program through Synergy Services, a nonprofit organization in Kansas City that helps family violence victims. At Kearney Middle School, she had three rules for the students: Be honest, don’t use names and have fun.

She asked the students to be candid about what they have seen or heard happening at school that might be considered bullying. The students listed things like rumors, fighting, teasing and the perennial “your momma” jokes.

Harrington said there are key differences between some things the students described and bullying. Fighting is assault. Repeated physical abuse is bullying. Teasing can be fun between friends, but when it hurts emotionally, it becomes bullying. She said often, however, friends don’t realize the teasing is hurting someone’s feelings.

“The only way I’m going to know I’m bullying her, she’s going to tell me,” Harrington said.

Harrington said once the friend knows the teasing is hurtful and continues, then it become bullying.

She told the students that it’s up to them to control the situations.

“Nobody has power over you but you,” Harrington said.

She said choosing not to respond to bullying can often squelch it. Harrington used siblings as an example. She said when siblings are intentionally annoying another sibling, they are often wanting to get a reaction. She told the students to do nothing next time a sibling annoys them.

She said it’s the same with bullies.

“I’m not saying you can’t have feelings,” Harrington said. “I’m saying, in front of everybody — fake it. … Don’t give away your power in front of everybody else.”

The students also listed why bullies act the way they do. They listed things like attention, want to feel in power, have been bullied themselves, jealousy of victim and lack of friends.

“We don’t want to put bullies on an island and forget about them,” Harrington said.

For more information about bullying, visit www.stop-violence.org.

bullying

Types of bullying:

- Physical

- Verbal

- Emotional

- Cyber

- Sexual

What you can do when you see bullying:

- Intervene — say something to the bully or create a distraction.

- Report it to a teacher or parent.

- Talk to the targets/victims of bullying afterward to make them feel better.

Source: Brandy Harrington, Synergy Services

Kearney Editor Kevin M. Smith can be reached at 628-6010 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .